08 May 2014 Irresponsibility

Do YOU live the life of your dreams, or do you dream your life away?

Most importantly, do you know what it is that you REALLY desire?

Take a long hard look at the life you living; is it what you dreamed it would be when you were a teenager?

I woke one morning close to 20 years ago and found myself trapped in suburban hell; I had worked very hard to climb the corporate ladder only to find myself fully committed to a rat race. Waking early to fight my way through city traffic in a car I didn’t really want, to work 8 hours in a job I didn’t really want, to pay for the house and car I didn’t really want, to come home to a wife I didn’t really want anymore, who didn’t really want me anymore.

I wish I could tell you a story about a noble hippie who turned his back on all of that, but rather honesty forces me to tell a story of REACTION to changing circumstances.

Instead of taking life by the horns and changing my life, I fought on with ever-diminishing strength and enthusiasm, holding on to those things I didn’t REALLY want, because I also didn’t really NOT want them either! I loved my wife; even if she was no longer faithful to me I had invested 15 years into that relationship. I had invested years of time and effort into a career and years of repayments into a home, and been paying off a Japanese appliance that we called our car… SIGH! I think you get the picture?

What I DO know is that that was not the life I dreamt of when I was growing up. Sadly honestly, the life I am living RIGHT NOW is also not the life I had dreamed of either.

What about you? Yes YOU staring at a screen right now feeling a bit of anger and resentment at the person questioning all that YOU have worked so hard to be right now?

Did YOU dream of being an accountant, a lawyer, a sales executive, a carpenter, a counter clerk? If you did, if you are living the life of your deepest desires, then all strength to you, I applaud you and admire you. But… If it was compromise and fear that brought you along the road to where you are right now, then like most of us, you simply exist!

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all”          Oscar Wilde

Did you fall asleep satisfied in the arms of someone you truly love and appreciate last night? Did your life make a real difference to the world yesterday? Did you bounce out of bed this morning filled with excitement? Did you live on the edge? When last did you dance all night? When last did you drive a challenging road happily over-steering, smoke and dust billowing into the air from pure exuberance?

Or did you lie in bed alone last night, or even worse, as far from your partner as you could? Did you force yourself out of bed, and guide an appliance through choking traffic to 8 hours of mind-numbing torture in order to service the debts you incurred buying things to try to satisfy the craving inside of you?

Is your plan to stick with this torture for another 20, 30, 40 years until you can afford to retire, and then to sit around waiting to die?

Close your eyes, take a couple of long deep breaths until your mind is quiet and ask yourself what REALLY excites you.


No, I’m not suggesting you abandon your life, your family and your responsibilities. BUT what I am saying is that TODAY, right now, start taking action, take your first step along the road to your desires, allow me please to emphasise that..

YOUR desires!

Not your parent’s desires…

Not your wife’s, husband’s, lover’s desires…

Not what your 2.4 children desire…

Not what your boss desires…

Not what the TV tells you to desire…

Not what that fashion magazine instructs you to desire…


“She had blue skin,

And so did he.

He kept it hid

And so did she.

They searched for blue

Their whole life through,

Then passed right by…

And never knew.”

–        Shel Silverstein

That person deep inside of you, the one you hide away, the one you ashamed of, the one that society doesn’t approve of, THAT person is YOU! THAT person will be wildly successful. THAT person will be deeply and passionately loved. THAT person will live life fully and be free!

And I hear the excuses, I see the indignation. I KNOW, you have worked long and HARD to be here where you don’t really want to be! You have nearly finished paying off that heap of tin foil and plastic that takes you to work every day, you only have another 11 years to pay off your house, and the neighbours aren’t that bad. If you don’t have to mow the lawn on a Saturday you might be forced to find something FUN to do!

You’ve just started a new 2 year contract to have that iPhone which you’ve given to your teenage child because it irritates the shit outa you.

I GET it…

Parents especially fascinate me, they have these perfect excuses for not living the life of their dreams; they need to accommodate the desires that society has indoctrinated their children into having!

“I want my children to have everything that I never had as a child” is classic, so you will sit stuck in purgatory so that your child can have an iPhone, dress in designer gear, and get a brand new appliance on wheels for their 18th birthday? Uhm… Really?

Your child needs an EXAMPLE, your child needs LOVE, your child needs your ATTENTION. Your child needs to be educated to be happy…

Answer this honestly;

“Am I preparing my children for life, or am I buying their affection?”

No! Not that knee-jerk reaction you have lied yourself into believing… try again!

No, I am not for one second suggesting that you go and live in a mud hut and survive on welfare cheques, I am asking you, and I am asking ME, to live life honestly and to make the changes necessary to live, not survive… LIVE!

And I guarantee it will not be comfortable to do! I guarantee it will scare the hell out of you! I guarantee that you will lose friends and face opposition.

I also GUARANTEE that you will be happy, quite possibly for the first time in your life! I also guarantee that you will be wildly successful and LIVE the life of your desires, as long as they are YOUR desires, not those you have been conditioned to accept.

And that is the irony of the life most of us lead, we do what is expected of us, we try to be responsible, and in so doing chose an existence of mediocrity. That path we yearn for, but have always been told is “selfish”, “irresponsible” and “amoral” is actually the path that will lead you to success, to helping others, and to raising balanced offspring.

Sadly I also know that most people will never travel down that road, fear, conformity and laziness will prevent it from ever being their reality. But that is why I will!

I do not have the life I desire right now. The woman I really want is “sorting herself out”, the abundance I desire is not flowing freely, and I am not doing what I really want to do… In a word, I am NOT “free” and the chains are of my own making.

But today I am breaking the chains, I am working towards the life of MY desires, my last post was about my decision, today I am quoting Ted Turner’s words “Lead, Follow, or get out of my way!”

There are preparations to be made, there is a process to be followed, but every cent earned right now is a step along that road, and I have absolute unshakable faith that this journey will be all that I desire.

I know that this is what needs to be done, yes, I am afraid, I am afraid of losing all that I have worked for. I am afraid of losing this awesome person, I am afraid of failing. But I also know that success is found on the other side of what I fear, and that it is my responsibility to be “irresponsible” right now. Actually I like that phrase;

“It is my responsibility to be ‘irresponsible’”

After all I cannot “preach” what I am not prepared to do. If things are not working the way they are right now, then they have to change! And I hope that at least one or two will follow this journey and be inspired!

I also know that as afraid as I am of losing, I cannot lose that which I never really had in the first place!

Go Forth and be Awesome

All My Love

Kim Warner

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