It just feels like I’ve said it all, and there is so little new to share, life has been a cycle of work and sleep the last few days, catching up on things neglected and basically a lot of putting out of fires.
Catherine and I continue with our “non-relationship relationship” with various levels of success and challenges, but despite my own desires to be fully part of someones life, I have to agree that this is the right place to be at this point in my life. I realise that there are adjustments I need to make before I can share my life with anyone, and one of them is STABILITY. Yes, my life doesn’t offer a potential partner much, if any, stability, and this is a big challenge for me.
I am self-employed, and my level of financial abundance fluctuates from month to month, furthermore being self-employed means that getting bank finance to buy a property is a major challenge, and I feel that one of the biggest elements of stability has to be owning one’s own space. I detailed in my last blog post my desire for an Eco-friendly home/community, and while this makes a lot of sense financially and morally, it still requires purchasing the property in the first place… how to go about this?
Well the easiest of course would be for me to team up with a life-partner who has the necessary financial stability to assist… don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting I marry rich and use my wife to pay for the property, but rather to partner with someone I trust enough to be able to buy the property in her name and then to pay off the said property with the earnings of the property and my own work, fortunately in the area in which I live, a medium sized farm costs less than a house in town and the property itself can actually produce an income. But it’s a chicken and an egg situation women need stability for their children, and I need her to assist me to achieve the stability, so for now it’s onto plan B…
A friend, in fact, an ex-girlfriend and I are busy setting up a new magazine to be published in areas of Cape Town, my duties would revolve around layout and design of the magazine itself and it’s supporting website, these are functions i was involved in before, OK nearly 20 years ago, but as I progress, I realise that like riding a bicycle, it’s just a matter of getting back into the saddle… Money? Potentially very good, but that will depend largely on the commitment and ability of all concerned, but it remains a movement in the right direction.
Catherine came up with a concept of a retail website which is aligned with one of her passions, and this too has huge potential to serve as a generator of passive income, I have in fact gone so far as to design the front pages of the site according to her idea, but now I await her side of the deal, sourcing the products, and she seems to be facing a subconscious block regarding actually getting down to doing so, but, just yesterday she gave her commitment that she would now get down to doing what she needs to do.
These are elements, building blocks as it where in the process of creating stability, my desire to travel this beautiful country sharing all that I have learned regarding the Law of Attraction and the allied actions will also be a step towards financial stability, but again, a certain amount of financial abundance will be necessary in order to begin, I trust that the magazine at least will be a beginning of creating that necessary abundance, funny thought, part of my process towards stability involves the unstable phase of traveling 🙂
There has been this growing realization, ok, actually it was one conversation yesterday that put things into perspective. Since my divorce 15 years ago my attitude has been “this is me, take me as I am, once I know that it is ME that you love, THEN I will provide…” Damn, I’m turning 45 this year, 15 years I’ve drifted, not really accomplishing anything tangible, and more than that, any woman I would get involved with now has responsibilities, it’s not just her and I, it’s others involved, and those little ones deserve stability. So it’s time to focus and start creating a firm foundation.
Well, from a beginning of admitting to a writers block, I ended up with a lot to say!
It feels so often like I’m walking through treacle, or on a treadmill, a lot of effort expended, with very little measurable progress, but, the mental processes are changing, and long held assumptions and stubborn beliefs are crumbling in the light of new truths. I look at the lives of those I’m involved closely with, those who are open to learning about these wonderful and powerful truths, and I am stunned at the progress they are making, humbled even when I see the speed with they are creating positive change! We each have our own journey to travel, and our progress is all that is important.
Go Forth and be Awesome
All My Love