29 June 2014 Sadness

And the anger fades, and the deep, disabling sadness comes to the surface, the world feels grey, all I believed in and loved turned out to be an illusion…. 04h00 I awoke wondering where I was, why I felt as if something had gone terribly wrong, and then I remembered.

I wanted the anger back again, the anger made me feel strong, powerful, in control. I even scratched around, trying to find evidence of yet another lie, and I found the evidence, but the anger sputtered and stalled, like an engine trying to run on the fumes of an empty fuel tank…

I can’t believe it, another July, another birthday, another disaster.

It’s bad enough to face the trauma of a breakup.

Worse to find out you’ve been lied to the whole time.

Even worse when you are left broke and facing homelessness

On your birthday month

Over and Out


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