19 February 2015 Love the MAN? OR Love the STATUS?

So here we are, 6-billion or so of us, each living the life that we chose…

And each creating our own joy…
And our own shit!
A close friend of mine (let’s call her “A”) was telling me about her new group of friends, and she did very well, they are the ”right” kinds of friends to have, upper crust, cultured and sophisticated, but it was how she described their social status that really made me think.
One is “married to a Doctor”, another is “married to an engineer” and the third… is “married to a businessman”

Let me get back to that in just a little bit…

Another friend (“B”) tonight is sitting in candlelight, and no, not because of ESKOM, but because she is getting “divorced from a (non-practicing) lawyer” and the process is so horribly expensive, and he so terribly vindictive that her power has been cut.

Another friend (“C”) is facing bankruptcy because she has a tenant who just won’t pay rent, or leave, and the South African justice system is failing her so miserably.

The irony is astounding; mind-boggling! “A” claims to be liberated, opinionated, strong woman, yet she would still choose to “classify” other women by the status of their husbands! I didn’t hear that friend one is a “strong woman, a wonderful mother who runs a successful catering business”, or that friend two is a “lady who has made the choice to stay at home and act in an indispensable role of supporting the career of her mate while raising a family and caring for stray animals”. No these women are classified by the CAREER CHOICE of their husbands…

I asked her (of course) would she have spoken with the same reverence when labeling a friend as “she is married to a carpenter”. The answer was “no, but I would have if she was ‘married to a Carpenter with his own business’”, well that would make her “married to a businessman” wouldn’t it?
And I hasten to qualify that I am not in any way criticizing my friend or her “classification” process, this is human nature as I observe it, for all that is beautiful, and evil about it.

Ask my friend “B” what it’s like to be “married to a lawyer”…

I do believe that much of the ills that modern society suffers would be cured when we start valuing a person’s QUALITIES more than their QUALIFICATIONS. What a wonderful world the day we say “he/she is married to the most wonderful, caring, supportive, loving, loyal, unselfish, hard-working man/woman” and rather aspire to THOSE ambitions.

Friend “A” recently visited a Doctor, she was suffering some discomfort with breathing and the Doctor diagnosed some trivial ailment, prescribed medicine and rushed her out to make way for the next paying customer. When her condition worsened and she sought the opinion of another Doctor, she was immediately rushed to hospital where she was diagnosed with a life-threatening disease. I wonder if that first Doctor’s wife is also afforded an elevated status for being “married to a Doctor”?

And so it is, certain occupations are afforded more status, and higher payments, than others. And very seldom is the status and financial compensation commensurate with the usefulness and/or “valuableness” of that person’s contribution to society. Athletes, Entertainers and Public Figures have tremendous status and earn huge amounts of revenue, but when your toilet is blocked and you knee deep in sewerage, you call a plumber and YOU LOOK DOWN ON HIM, and complain about the cost of his services. And his wife, if he can attract one, is NEVER revered as “married to a Plumber”.

Ask my friend “C” what she thinks of Lawyers right now!

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3 thoughts on “19 February 2015 Love the MAN? OR Love the STATUS?

  1. You could ask friend “B”, the exact same question. However, she was not attracted to him because of what he was, but because of who HE was, or as it turns out, who he was not…
    Unfortunately, because they hold such “high esteem” in the public eye, they have mastered the art of manipulation and being perfectly untouchable. He is a great guy you know, he is an ATTORNEY! One who knows every loophole and legal trick in the book. Who knows only black and white, devoid of any sign of compassion. Fortunately she has not been affected by load shedding – there ain’t none to “shed”. With some help from a friend, turned it into an adventure albeit cold showers, candles and no cooked meals. Yes, “Mrs Attorney at law” is no longer…
    Would she have been happy with a loving, devoted, caring, compassionate second hand car salesman? You can bank on it…

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