Choices – 21 June 2015

“Life is what happens while we making other plans”.

Man I dislike an upset stomach, for me it starts a day or so before the main event, the body aches and my vibration drops, and I don’t figure it out yet, so I get all miserable and withdrawn and moody, and then it starts…

Living just other side easy access to town means that I didn’t get to the meds as soon as I should’ve and then the dehydration hit me.

Yesterday I dragged my weary (raw) ass into town and bought some meds, and some energy drinks to replace the lost electrolytes + yogurt to replace the pro-biotics, and by this evening I’ve graduated to solid foods again, inconvenient, uncomfortable, disgusting… but that’s in the past now!

I should’ve been on my way to Cape Town, but instead I was forced to take time-out and had more than enough time to reflect.

A lot has transpired over the past few weeks, where do I start?

Firstly, I have made a decision regarding the Durban work challenge, after a lot of soul-searching, and a lot of waiting, I decided to make a pro-active choice in the matter, I LOVE my rural home, I LOVE my people here in the Eastern Cape, I love my battered old Candy, I appreciate my loyal clients. Yet on the other hand I enjoy the stimulation and challenge of the projects that Uber Haus attracts, and I really enjoy the people I spend my time with there.

So I suggested a semi-regular alternative, ideally splitting myself 50/50 between Durban and King Williams Town. There are challenges involved of course, living as a guest in someone else’s home is great, especially if they are loved family, but, we do tend to get on each-others nerves after a while, especially while under pressure, and, well, it is exactly during the high-pressure times that I would be needed there! So, I will be arranging my own transport and accommodation in future, for a compensatory higher remuneration of course.

I feel this is a win-win solution; Uber Haus can get away with hiring enough permanent staff to cover their average workload, and only need to pay me when I am needed, and I get to live the semi-nomadic lifestyle I dreamed of, enjoying the best of both worlds.

Candy is not yet in a state to be able to manage the 1300km round-trip, but, I have started working on her again, Tuesday witnessed me removing both doors, the bonnet (hood to you over the pond) and the heater/blower. I repaired rust, serviced the heater, replaced a worn-out drivers-door hinge, repaired faulty door locks, replaced a broken exhaust hanger… and yesterday I collected a brand-new steering rack, which I will install as soon as I am fully recovered (hopefully tomorrow).WP_20150616_001 WP_20150616_002 WP_20150616_003 WP_20150616_004 WP_20150616_005

I am still toying with ideas, one of which is to buy a scooter for urban transport, which I would leave in Durban.

And then there is the challenge of accommodation, do I hire a cheap apartment and pay for it while I’m not using it? Or is it better to keep paying for short-term accommodation at a higher rate? That would of course be answered by how often I am there, which only time will tell. But for now, I know the answer will present itself at the right time!

Exciting times indeed, and if I may allow my ego a little space, it feels damn good to be sought after!

As for Cape Town, well, there were 5 people I wanted to see down there, two don’t even respond to my messages, one seems decidedly unenthusiastic about the idea, one can’t give me a straight answer about whether I’m wanted there or not and the other, well, let’s just say that I don’t need to spend a week of turmoil in order to advise that that is not the way to live one’s life.

Scott Campbell the co-owner of Uber Haus shared some valuable advice with me while I was there, if you find that the milk has turned sour, putting it back in the fridge isn’t going to fix it! Bottom line, I can’t see the point of spending thousands and losing out on income, just to be uncomfortable and frustrated!

So this is the theme of today’s post, “Choices”, basically all that happens to us is a direct result of the choices that we make, and more importantly, we always have choices, and everything is a choice!

  • If you unhappy with your job, you have a choice
  • If you unhappy in your relationship, you have a choice
  • If you unhappy with your financial abundance, you have a choice
  • If you unhappy with your body, you have a choice
  • If you unhappy with your health, you have a choice!

Learning this, that rainy day 9 years ago, turned my life-around. Up until that point in my life I believed that things happened outside of my control. I sort of believed in the basic principles of “what goes around comes around”, call it Karma if you want, but it puzzled me that as much as I sacrificed myself in helping others, I only attracted bad luck.

But that day, reading John Kehoe’s “Mind Power into the 21st Century”, I realized that each and every one of us has the power to choose our own circumstances! Yes, I still had much to learn, and my efforts, especially in the beginning, were inconsistent to say the least, but the more I learned, the more I was able to effectively apply what I learned.

And one of the lessons that took me the longest to learn was that of truly loving myself. I am of course not referring to vanity here, but for me, it was treating myself the way I treated anyone else that I loved. In the past, I had such a small opinion of myself that I constantly felt I had to “earn” the love/friendship of others; a favourite tactic of mine was to basically make myself indispensable to them. I would rather spend money on them than on myself, I’d rather spend time fixing or repairing their things, or their lives than to spend that time fixing my things or my life!

Invariably I would use up all that I had, totally exhausting myself in the process until I was of no use to them (or anyone else, including myself) and then of course they would leave! I never attracted love, I created co-dependency. The unrequited “co” in that dependency made me MISERABLE, and in order to attract good things, firstly we need to feel good! So during those years I descended in a vicious cycle, eventually hitting rock bottom!

Talking about feeling good, this is a new choice I find myself making with increasing frequency, I want to feel good, I want to have fun, I want to enjoy myself. And one of the choices I am making in this regard is to choose my associations more wisely, or at the very least, to limit my interaction with those that are draining….

Don’t get me wrong please, we all, from time to time, need a shoulder to cry on, when things go wrong, we need our friends and loved ones, but here I am referring to those habitual complainers, the addicts to drama!

And I know them well… I was one!

For these people life is a series of disasters, at any given time there are at least 2 major crises’ happening in their lives, and for a while we try to assist, to show them the way, but eventually we notice that it’s their particular addiction.

They ill, but they don’t eat nutritiously, “forget/too busy” to take their medication, they broke, but don’t do what’s necessary to earn a living, they tired, but they “can’t” sleep, they ask for guidance and help, but then find every excuse imaginable to avoid taking the necessary action. They obsess over the trivial and totally ignore the important.

There is little one can do for such people besides hoping that eventually they will learn that they need to make the choice to be in control of their lives rather than just letting life happen to them!

So, if I’m going to choose to spend time with someone, it’s either someone whose company is uplifting and enjoyable, someone who is FUN to be with, or someone who needs help and shows appreciation for that help by acting on it, but someone who is just addicted to drama is a drain… nothing more!

And so we live and so we learn. Each day is a precious gift to be enjoyed to the max!

Go Forth and be Awesome

All My Love

Kim

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