I see it has been quite some time since I last made the effort to blog…
First things first, happy arbitrary date chosen to signify a new calendar year 🙂
Now that that customary greeting is out of the way, let me proceed
“be careful what you wish for, you might just get it” – annon
I started this blog as an experiment, a chronicle of my journey with the LoA, it has been over two years now, and what conclusion have I reached? What are the preliminary results of the experiment so far?
Well, December of 2013 I was in a place of emotional turmoil, financial distress and personal growth.
By and large my visualizations, affirmations and focus were concentrated on financial stability, I learned through a process of trial-and-error that that on which I focused with clarity and consistency came to be.
Distractions slowed the process down, focus sped it up. Happiness attracted success, unhappiness attracted more reasons to be unhappy.
Late October 2014 saw a low point in the cycle, and largely due to the inspiration and assistance of a friend and lover Cecilia, I started my 30 day challenge, the progress of that period was carefully documented in October and November 2014, it started a period of unprecedented financial abundance, including my business partnership with Uber Haus.
2 May 2014 I wrote an entry entitled “A Destination“, and there I wrote some self-prophetic words;
“Stability achieved! What now?
2 choices really;
1. Stagnate, settle into a comfort zone and go to seed.
2. Choose a path forward and set new goals, this time based on desires rather than desperation”
While I asserted that I had no choice, that my choice would be the second one, sadly I see that it was more a combination of both, while I did make the choice to take on a second home in the Durban Metro, the comfort zone of regular income and easy living has taken it’s toll.
Back home in the Eastern Cape, life is different, money needed to be created, pennies are counted, we make do with less, we plan and ration according to the measure available. My next payday was never guaranteed, there was constant incentive to remain aware and conscious of what I was creating with my thoughts and feelings.
Even the cost of internet access was a consideration and thus it was restricted to the important things, my faithful Candy limped on with what I could afford to spend on her, and what repairs were needed, I performed myself!
During my 6month in Durban, I bought a small scooter to run around with, but when it broke down, there was no time or energy to try and repair it myself, and the money was available, so I had someone else repair it. I got caught up in a cycle of go to work early, work till late, come home and “relax” with the aid of alcohol, and alcohol I have found to be the enemy of enlightenment, after a drink or two, meditation, focus and spiritual processes are impossible.
Again, in the Eastern Cape, Alcohol was a luxury, something I could not afford every day.
My “leisure” time was eroded by a growing facebook addiction, getting involved in the social and political squabbles there, sharing jokes and waiting for the thrill of the “likes”, passive-aggressive shares of jibes against religious fundamentalism and moral dogmatism.
One of the foundations of the LoA is that we attract to ourselves that which we focus upon with emotion. And more and more I started to attract things that I claim not to desire.
I am grateful that I was able to spend two weeks back home in the rural Eastern Cape, that time served not only as a valuable period or R&R, a time to reconnect with loved ones, but also as a grounding…
Away from the constant noise and distractions of the city one sees things clearer, and what I saw did not make me proud, I saw how far down the path of secularism and materialism I had wandered, how my health had suffered, how my weight had ballooned, how my fitness had declined.
So again I realized, just because one has money in ones pocket, does not mean that happiness is assured, nor that success is all about a bank balance, indeed this system under which we survive is perfectly designed to distract us from our true purpose.
So what now?
Wednesday evening I took leave of my loved ones in King Williams Town, Thursday afternoon I greeted my loved ones in Kwa Zulu Natal, 670km/9hrs separates my two lives, arriving back in the city I find that things are challenging at Uber Haus, initial panic set in, promises implied are already broken, thankfully what remained of my intuition guided me into preserving essential resources, I am back in my room at the Castle, my scooter will be my mode of transport again come Monday.
It is time to set new intentions, these are not the tired new-years resolutions most set and fail to achieve at the beginning of each year, these are the result of a wake up call.
- Return to my proven habit of daily spiritual processes.
- Read more, watch less (with this in mind I have brought with me all my spiritual literature, and again invested in a tablet computer to utilize as an ebook reader).
- Cut down drastically on Facebook time, this “social” media increases unhappiness and encourages conflict.
- Re-establish healthy eating habits (my previous 6month stint was sans a refrigerator or cooking facilities, this time I have brought with a small refrigerator and a gas cooker)
- Exercise more (while my work is largely of a physical nature, it still lacks aerobic exercise)
- Consciously release weight again.
The public holidays towards the end of March align in such a way as to allow 10 days off if 3 working days are taken as leave, I plan to take advantage of that alignment and spend more time at home and complete the work I started on the lovely Candy recently.
Life is what we create consciously through our thoughts and emotions, happiness is our own responsibility.
Go Forth and be Awesome
All My Love